Happy Summer! It’s been a little while since I’ve blogged. I hope that you’re enjoying your summer—I definitely am. But I’ve also been hard at work thinking about ways to effectively and broadly spread my message of BlackLoveRules! I’m superexcited about what’s next and looking forward to hearing from you.
As you see, I have a new website, thanks to my web Guru/Angel Yesha Callahan aka Fly Black Chick of Fly Chick Media. I’d love to hear your thoughts about the site, dating, love, sex, goals and dreams!
In addition to a Miami vacay with my favorite girls, this summer I have been blessed to participate in programs to expand my writing skills, while expanding my community of writers and friends, such as through the Women Write Now 2 program, created and hosted by the amazing Marita Golden. Additionally, and I must admit this has been the highlight of my writing career so far, I was chosen as a fellow in the Hurston/Wright Foundation’s fiction writing workshop held at Howard University. There, on the historic campus, under the tutelage of co-founders Marita and Clyde, and talented authors Dolen Perkins-Valdez and Wil Haygood, and in the emotional cradle of my sister-writers (and one brother), I stretched my writing muscles—and it hurt—but I have emerged an author.
So, with that, let’s get to the business of being about BlackLoveRules!…
This past Saturday, after the day-long Women Write Now 2 seminar, I felt simultaneously equipped for conquering my writing and business goals and EXHAUSTED. I was in Prince George’s County, MD, it was about 6pm and I was starving. I really didn’t want to go to a fast food restaurant. I wanted to have a leisurely meal and contemplate the day’s events, while decompressing and having a glass or two of Riesling. I considered my options and realized that I wasn’t far from Half Note, a dinner/supper club in Bowie, MD near my old home. The food is good, they have live music and it’s dark and moody. “But,” I thought, “I’m alone. There are going to be couples and groups of people there.” Half Note is a gathering space, a meeting place. And after a certain hour, a straight up club.
The interesting thing about that thought, is that I launched BlackLoveRules! with my first blog about spending Christmas alone and loving myself enough to prepare a beautiful meal, just for me, served on my “good dishes.” Additionally, I had just announced my Next Big Idea to the WWN2 participants…so, feeling that I’d be hypocritical to use my being alone as an excuse not to go, off to Half Note I went.
And, as I sat at the table set for two, among the couples of varying ages who were obviously on a first or fairly close to it date, the group of middle aged sisters celebrating a birthday in the group, with bunches of balloons and lots of joy and laughter, the gentleman who went from table to table promoting his comedian client who performs there on Fridays, and the frat brothers bellied up to the bar reminiscing about the good ol’ days, and checking out the stiletto-heeled women as they passed by, I smiled.
I was comfortable and at peace. I admit that I called my mom, just to give her a download on the days’ events, but that call lasted no more than 10 minutes and I spent the rest of the time thinking (and doing a little texting). But mainly, I ate a lovely and pretty healthy meal, had two wonderful glasses of wine and breathed.
So, why a Prelude to a Date? Because, beginning September 3, 2011, I am embarking on a journey of self-discovery and awareness. For the next year, I will be taking my best date—ME—on 50 Self-Dates! That’s right, like Adam Sandler’s character in 50 First Dates—I will create new and interesting ways to spend time with the object of my affections—myself—that do not involve a remote control or fuzzy slippers. I will report back to you after (and possibly during) each Self-Date to debrief and let you know all about it—just like I would with my girlfriends were I seeing a super special dude.
My evening in Half Note gave me a glimpse of how nice it can be to be out, on my own, not expecting anyone or anything, and just soaking in the experience. I will lay out my “Rules” for my Self-Dates in the first 50 Self-Date post, but I will tell you this much…I will not be monogamous—I do plan to see other people! But I also plan to put as much care into and will hopefully look forward to each Self-Date
just as I do each date I have with a man who I’ve just met or whose company I enjoy. I look forward to sharing these experiences with you and, if you pay close attention, you’ll be rewarded throughout this journey, as I plan to have 50 Self-Date trivia-based giveaways from time to time.
As you know, even though BlackLoveRules!, so too does SelfLove. Enjoy the remainder of summer and I’ll speak with you Labor Day weekend!